Monthly Archives: October 2015

The Gorilla’ Spooktacular – Halloween Giveaway – ENTER IF YOU DARE!


I don’t know what’s more terrifying – how quickly Halloween comes around or the fact that we have Christmas gifts popping up all over the supermarkets and TV advertisements before The Gorilla even has a chance to dust off his fluffy human suit or big hairy sack! The powers that be should rebrand Halloween to “Pre Xmas.”

We have 5 ghastlyHalloween Facebook prize winners this year, and one hideous winner will be chosen to win an awful, extra ghastly prize.

*1 X Disgusting Prize Of:

  • 10 FASTBUDS Pineapple Express Seeds
  • 5 Seedsman Mazari Seeds
  • A fantastic Waterpuff pipe
  • Working Torch Safe Keyring
  • Pop Up Tin – Camouflage
  • Gorilla Clipper Lighter
  • 2 Part Grinder
  • Rolling papers
  • Brass Bullet Pipe keyring
  • Breeders sticker set

4 X Winners Will Get This Nasty Set:

  • 5 Seedsman Mazari Seeds
  • Working Torch Safe Keyring
  • Pop Up Tin – Camouflage
  • Gorilla Clipper Lighter
  • 2 Part Grinder
  • Rolling papers
  • Brass Bullet Pipe keyring
  • Breeders sticker set

To win one of the horrible prize sets, all you have to do is the usual – like, share & comment on Gorilla’s Facebook page. You can better your chances by making it stand out with a creepy or blood spattered image – anything grotesque will do!

Posting a link to any stinky strains from our website will help, but it’s not a must this time (in case you read this far)

*For a chance to win the 1 spooktacular extra prize. Post yourself wearing a Halloween costume or go the extra mile and post a creepy image, video or short tale of terror. An extra 10 seeds and the alarmingly good waterpuff will be selected for the most disgusting post. (nurse, maid or anything revealing will also do 😉)

The Halloween competition will end on Monday 2nd November and the winners will be posted soon after.

The hairy one’s Facebook & prize fairy will be holiday from the 4th-13th Nov. so winners need to get their details sent immediately or wait till he returns.

The ghouls that make the draconian laws say we can only gift cannabis seeds for storage and collection, so don’t get these little demons wet. The evil jobsworths at customs or the creepy pirate posties may try steal your sick prizes – you must take up any non-delivery issues with them. His hairiness will post them recorded delivery, but this means nothing to those – soulless ghouls!

Steelers Whine – Pittsburg NORML Caves!

pistburg jpg

Back in the day, Lynyrd Skynyrd paid tribute to Jack Daniels by featuring a modified version of their bourbon label on one of the most bad-ass T-shirts of all time – and no one went to court, no one whined about it and not one bottle of whiskey was harmed in the process – unless you count draining them dry.

Well, to be completely honest, if the good ole boys at JD did any belly-aching, I never heard about it. But those were the days before the Internet & social media. Hell, maybe Jack Daniels even appreciated the free advertising. One things for sure, you can still buy those black T’s today!

That good-natured camaraderie does not extend to the NFL (American football) & the cannabis industry.

The Pittsburg Steelers have used an iconic logo for decades featuring a white circle with their name to the left and yellow, red & blue diamond-like shapes (technically, they’re asteroids) to the right. They make billions selling licensed merchandise featuring their logo to an incredibly wide fan base. Whether or not it’s wider than the Jack Daniels fan base is up for debate.

Enter the Pittsburg NORML chapter.

Assuming there are plenty of people in Pittsburg who cheer on the home team AND think marijuana should be legalized, it wasn’t a huge leap to “borrow” the Steelers’ logo. With a couple quick modifications (change Steelers to Pittsburg NORML & change the asteroids to pot leaves), and you’ve got something that’s instantly recognizable, makes Pittsburg residents feel all warm & fuzzy, and you didn’t have to waste a lot of time, energy or money to get it. Thank you Photoshop!

Except, someone in the Steelers organization noticed & got in a big huff about it. They recently threatened action if Pittsburg NORML did not immediately stop using

Never mind that we’re pretty sure plenty of NFL players wouldn’t mind toking up now and then, especially considering estimates put player medication at roughly 60% & virtually every player has some need for MMJ. Never mind that the NFL is toying with the idea of allowing players to use MMJ for concussions & head injuries in areas where it is legal to do so. And, never mind that no one in their right mind would ever confuse the Steelers with NORML – the people or the artwork

Nice guys that they are, Pittsburg NORML backed down & is in the process of designing a new image. The NORML reps there jokingly mentioned something about Andrew Carnegie & a big fattie, but a massive Gorilla would be way better. Who could possibly complain about that?

The Gorilla wants to know: How would you feel if NORML modified your favourite team’s logo for their own use?

In the meantime, please support your local NORML chapter when you can so they can continue to fight the good fight!

The Jamaica Situation


‘Legalize it, don’t criticise it’

Believe it or not, ganja, which comes from Sanskrit (meaning hemp or hemp resin), was present in Jamaica before the advent of Rastafarianism.

In the late 1800s, cannabis was brought into Jamaica by Indian servant workers following the rebellion of the African slaves.

Rastafarianism embraced this herb, calling it the “wisdom” weed. Then, along came Bob Marley who spread the word with other singers using Reggae music.

Pre-Rastafarian use of cannabis in Jamaica was generally in a tea for medical use or occasionally smoked with tobacco.

All was well until 1913, when the ‘ganja law’ was passed through the support of elite whites and the church. Considered a racist law by many that illustrates the oppression and injustice served out to the locals by the colonials in the most brutal way possible, the ganja law made the possession and use of cannabis illegal and punishable with jail time.

Many will not remember the United States’ war against Jamaica’s weed in the 1970s. Using troops, ships, planes and the CIA, they attempted to stop the flow of ganja out of Jamaica. They failed completely.

Things are different now. Recently, 100 years after the ganja law was passed, a Jamaica minister stated:

“We need to position ourselves to take advantage of the significant economic opportunities offered by this emerging industry,”

On what would have been Bob Marley’s 70th birthday, Jamaica officially legalised cannabis for religious, medical and scientific use. It also became acceptable to have up to two ounces of weed upon your person, and to grow weed at home. The allowance for home growers is up to five plants. This is massive progress and a huge step in slowing down the rampant criminalisation of Jamaica’s youth. It should be noted, however, that smoking in public remains illegal.

Jamaica is in the process of creating new regulations to deal with the production of cannabis for medical purposes, and a 16-member Cannabis Licensing Authority to regulate the industry in Jamaica has been announced.

More details in the Jamaica Observer

Medical Marijuana Patient?

Furthermore, Americans travelling to Jamaica, who hold medical marijuana cards, will be able to use them in Jamaica to buy fine ganja!

Recent partnerships with Colorado based company OpenVape are expected to drive thousands of extra tourists through Jamaica as well as create new jobs. Extra taxes generated will be put back into education and research.

Local physicians and businesses are being encouraged to get with the medical cannabis program.

A medical marijuana research and development operation will be built on the island by a Jamaican company in partnership with Colorado-based United Cannabis. The scheme is being run in cooperation with the University of the West Indies along with eight partner hospitals.

Jamaica is making small steps to prepare for the emerging legal cannabis market.

The UK Independent reports how the first legal medical cannabis plant was recently planted at the University of the West Indies.

“Now that they can actually cultivate for research purposes, we can expect that the outcomes of the endeavours will be more profound, and with the economic opportunities that this will bring, we see this as part of what, I hope, will be a transformational industry for Jamaica,”

Justice Minister Mark Golding stated.

‘Marley Natural’?

One does not get very far talking about weed without talking about Jamaica. And Bob Marley.

The Marley family have not been slow to jump on the cannabis bandwagon. Juggernaut may be a better description of recent developments if we are honest. They are launching several special strains of weed that are specifically from Jamaica that the man himself reportedly used to smoke!

Expected in the US in late 2015, this will thrust Bob’s face into the forefront of the legalisation movement and the cannabis industry. Could even Bob have foreseen this radical shift in public opinion and new energy for the plant? He probably did, but whether he would have expected to see his face on the doobies is another matter entirely.

The Marley family have teamed up with a company called Privateer Holdings who have issued the following statement:

“Bob Marley started to push for legalization more than 50 years ago. We’re going to help him finish it”
“It just seems natural that Daddy should be part of this conversation,”

said Bob’s daughter in a recent NBC interview.

The grow space in Canada, however, appears to be indoors. One can’t help but wonder if daddy would have approved of herb grown under lights? Let’s hope some of those profits make it back to Jamaica.

Decriminalisation in Jamaica – details

Minister of Justice from Jamaica, Mark Golding speaks out in a recent interview:

“There is a long history of calls for reform in Jamaica arising from various commissions and committee reports and so on stretching back quite a long time. Given the nature of Jamaican society and how the cannabis plants is used, how it is folded into Jamaican society in so many ways, we didn’t really feel it was something we wanted to wait on caricom to make a decision on. We felt that this was something that was pressing and needed to be addressed at this time.”

“In terms of medical cannabis we are going to have a regulated industry for that will be informed by the requirement of the intern treaties that Jamaica is party to. In terms of the social justice side of it, I would say what we have done is that we have modified the penalties. We have called it decriminalisation, I suppose. We have modified the penalties so that it becomes a ticketable matter that is dealt with outside the court system and it is not an arrestable infraction. It does not result in a criminal record.”

“Because of a tradition of using ganja in Jamaica as a home remedy for colds and fever, those things, we have allowed a small amount of plants. Up to five plants can be grown on any premises”

On regulating the Industry:

“I think the treaties will involve some state involvement, in the supply chain, but I don’t believe that the model is going to be one of total state control and management of the process because I don’t think our bureaucracy would really be well suited for that activity, so I anticipate that there will be private commercial interests involved in the medical marijuana side of it. Perhaps with some state input, perhaps with depots or inspection processes and so on, but those detailed regulations are to be developed once the legislation has been passed”

Indoor production may occur

Cannabis is grown in the shadows, generally outdoors, but I suppose depending on the market and the product and what you are trying to achieve, it may be necessary to have a more controlled environment so we may see both sides of production”.

What the locals think about all this

Ganja has been illegal in Jamaica for 100 years. It has long been a tool for corrupt police (of which there are widely admitted to be many) in criminalising young, old and poor of Jamaica.

Taking away this ability from the police certainly gives a higher degree of security to the poor and young who will no longer be subject to victimisation because of their use of a simple, beneficial plant.

Celebrations are already underway with Negril hosting their first ever high Times Cannabis Cup this year.

“The hotels, taxis, all tourism stakeholders will benefit. But most importantly, it will bring to the fore the type of technology needed to advance research,” said Ras Iyah.

Others are not so convinced:

“Had Bob been alive today he would have ensured more of the profits of his estate reached the poor and Rastas especially. For so many years, Rastas and the poor have been victimised and targeted, charged and incarcerated for marijuana. So now, as the taboo is being finally lifted, the profits won’t be benefiting the people of Jamaica. I’m not for this business deal, but this should be a wake up call to our government to stop dragging its feet on marijuana legalisation. Jamaica should be a front runner, and it’s not in the race.”


“Weed is a degrading and derogatory term to decry and despise the herb. Even the Bible itself tells you that grass is for the cattle and herbs are for the use of man”

“It seems to I and I that America has an agenda. Right? With the herbs as a big money-making industry thing. Trying to penalise and sabotage our herbs which are among the best, if not the best, in the world”.



We don’t normally do this, but Waterpuff sent our Facebook guy some samples. They are that good, we want to share them with you and we’re giving some away with our next Fast Bud Seeds promo. You may have noticed our Facebook guy making a few (errors) recently? Blame Water Puff – He’s been giving it a real good test.

The way Fast Buds strains have been selling, I’m sure they won’t mind sharing the spotlight. This time, we’re giving away their Pineapple Express Seeds:

  • 100% Feminized Seeds
  • Fully Automatic Hybrid
  • High Yields – Potent
  • 9-Week Sativa
  • Rich Flavours & Aromas

OK, that’s the seeds bit done. The pipe, I mean Water Puff, is… wait a minute, it’s…

  • Cool As F*ck
  • Discreet & Stealthy
  • Works with nearly every bottle top
  • Portable
  • Cool As F*ck & Stealthy

I can’t put it down. It doesn’t even need a screen but I’ve tried one anyway. The glass bit fits inside the nice brightly coloured, screw thing for the bottle and its cool and nice and makes it really small and neat when you’re not using it or carrying it about. The box is cool too, like a see through storage thing with nice writing and instructions and it’s kinda like a water pipe and screws on a bottle….


Just thingy… post stuff. Good luck!


All you have to do, to win these seeds and your very own Waterpuff – Get yourself over to facebook and:

Our Facebook guy will pick winner on the 26th October if he can put the Waterpuff down!

All our prizes are for souvenir purposes only. Don’t be like our stoner Facebook guy and actually use this demonic tool for drug abuse – or get the seed wet. That would be like – really bad!
Everything is sent by tracked mail. If it goes missing or gets broken in the post – you have to deal with them dudes.