The Zombie Apocalypse is old news – the world is now being overrun by marauding hordes of Pokemon Go players. Everywhere you look, you see groups of gamers, both young and old, stumbling around, eyes glued to their smartphone screen, frantically trying to capture all 151 characters, from the iconic Pikachu to the highly sought-after Charizard. Once captured, they can trained and battled at a Poke Gym for the ultimate in virtual world domination!
If you’re a small business owner, this could mean a major financial gain. The guy at my local smoke shop said his sales are up a full 40% since the game was released. Lots of new people are coming into the store in hot pursuit of a pretend monster and often buy some papers, a piece of glass or even a cold drink before they leave. Apparently, catching mythic creatures is thirsty work.
Getting kids outside & walking around is great, people are making new friends as they run into each other at Poke Stops and Poke Gyms, and small, spontaneous parties are breaking out on street corners all over North America, Australia and Europe. But, there is a downside to Pokemon Go for the canna community, especially considering this smartphone app has put more boots on the ground than LEO could ever hope for.
Poke Stops & Gyms are Only in Public Places … or Are They?
When the game was first released, you could only find Pokeman characters in public places, but even that caused problems. No one was asked whether they wanted their location to be part of the virtual playground. Some people were arrested for trespassing when they jumped fences while businesses were closed, a few people got locked in a zoo when they didn’t leave on time, and some caused major traffic accidents by trying to capture their quarry while driving down the road – still a public place.
Niantic Labs has created a new system for businesses and other public spots to opt out of the Pokemon Go game, but this same system will allow anyone to opt-in their local neighborhood, even if there aren’t any public areas around. That probably means a little more trespassing as players dash across yards and jump fences to snatch up one more imaginary beast & lock it in a Pokeball.
That’s all fine & dandy until someone peaks in the wrong window or stumbles across a flourishing backyard garden – not to mention all those remote guerrilla locations scattered about. If the players are 420-friendly, and many are, that could be cool, but if they’re not, it could be very un-cool. Take care out there!
Don’t Carry While You’re Playing Pokemon Go!
If you’re playing the game somewhere that doesn’t take kindly to lighting up, it’s probably best to leave your stash at home. Smoking out your new homies down at the local Poke Stop might make you popular, but things could go very wrong if you’re not careful, especially if you’re fond of late night/early morning searching.
At 3 AM one night not too long ago, a 40-year-old white player couldn’t sleep, so he decided to go out look for Pokemon in a local park. He was chatting with a couple younger black players who were out doing the same thing, and that looked suspicious to an officer out on patrol. He started off questioning them about a suspected drug deal, but ended up downloading Pokemon Go before he left so that he could play, too. I’m sure you could imagine how differently that could have ended if there was a certain distinctive aroma in the air.
Robbery is a distinct possibility for Pokemon Go’ers, too. Players can set virtual lures to attract more desirable characters, but other players can see those lures as well, and often come a’runnin even faster than a jacked-up Mewtwo. More than once, bad guys have set those same lures, waited for a lone player to approach, then liberated them from their cash, their stash and anything else they had on hand.
Is Pokemon Go Really Just a Way to Spy on Everyone?
Conspiracy theorists are already saying that Pokemon Go is the latest way the government could be spying on us all – or at least everyone who downloads the app (that’s over 7.5 million people so far). This time, they might be right.
To play, you have to give the app permissions to do almost anything it wants including:
- Read your contacts & accounts
- Access your camera
- Full access to your Google account including your emails, documents and photos
You also have to agree to this:
” We may disclose any information about you (or your authorized child) that is in our possession or control to government or law enforcement officials or private parties.”
Finally, Niantic Labs was spun off of Google, who’s in bed with the NSA. And, Niantic was started by John Hanke who’s in bed with the CIA. That’s one orgy we’d stay far, far away from.
If you value online anonymouty more than anything else, buy your marijuana seeds with bitcoins whether you order here or somewhere else. But, if you do buy from Gorilla Seeds, we’ll give you 20% off plus 5 extra free seeds when you use cryptocurrency. That’s even sweeter than taking control of the White House Poke Gym, the most coveted location in all of Pokeland!
Why Not Play Ganjaman Go?
If you like Pokemon Go, Ganjaman Go will blow your mind! This app has been leaked & it’s lurking around the Internet, so we’re going to assume it’s a real thing. In this game, you can be Ganjaman, complete with dreds, and go out in search of weed-inspired characters like VaperPuff and GigglyHigh, but lookout for The Snitch. He’s a real bummer!